From Nurturing Hearts To Nurturing Minds
By Dr Kit Phey Ling, Lecturer, Psychological Studies Academic Group; Counselling Psychologist and Co-author of The Undefeated Parent: A Guide to Managing Children’s Stress
Gregory is an above average student who always does reasonably well in his examinations. Recently, his grades have fallen, and he even failed the last few topical tests. Gregory’s teachers also noticed that he has become more withdrawn, sad and distracted during lessons.
Gregory is representative of many children and adolescents that my colleagues, students and I have worked with at the NIE Wellness Centre.
When youths are emotionally distressed, they find it hard to concentrate on their academic work and their grades would suffer. At such times, it is not unusual for parents and teachers to put in more time and efforts to tutor these children – to nurture their minds – in the attempt to improve their grades.
When the focus is solely on the youths’ mind without attending to their hearts, the efforts to help will likely fail. Unattended emotional issues can sometimes lead to the development of mental health problems like anxiety, depression, self-harm, and even suicide. Whenever this happens, parents and teachers will feel frustrated, helpless and guilty for not being able to help the child.
Our online counselling pilot study with primary school children conducted in 2015 also showed that when children were distressed, they would usually seek the help of adults and peers. However, when some of the children told their parents about their negative feelings or distress over interpersonal issues, such as bullying, they were advised by their parents to ignore these problems on the belief that the problems would go away by themselves eventually.
When their teachers asked if they would like to attend online counselling via a live chat platform, they jumped at the opportunity. They openly shared their troubles with the online counsellors, who actively worked with them on the solutions. At the end of the counselling, the children had expressed gratitude to their online counsellors for their willingness to listen and encourage them. They also reported being able to regulate their emotions more effectively and to focus on their studies (Kit, Teo, Tan & Park, 2017; NIE NIE AcRF RI 7/13 KPL).
The research results supported the importance of nurturing the heart of children and adolescence to facilitate the good work by parents and teachers to nurture their minds. Over the past two decades, there was increasing recognition in the Singapore education system that children thrived when their emotional needs were attended to. As a result, teachers were trained to provide pastoral care and counselling to students in the 1980s (Chong, Lee, Tan, Wong, & Yeo, 2013). In 2005, a full-time school counsellor scheme was introduced. More recently, students in the Extended Postgraduate Diploma in Education Programmes would attend a 12-hour basic counselling skills course, where they learn to build rapport with students to understand their emotional challenges and to refer those who need further help to the appropriate mental health professionals.
However, possessing basic counselling skills is still insufficient for teachers to provide effective emotional support for their students. Research has shown that for them to be able to empathise, manage conflicts and set behavioural limits firmly and respectfully with their students, while still nurturing the students’ ability to explore and learn, the teachers themselves should be aware of their own needs and issues (Jennings, Goh, Skovholt, Hanson, & Banerjee-Stevens, 2003).
This self-awareness can be achieved through training and deep personal reflection. All NIE pre-service teachers are given opportunities to reflect on their personal journeys during the Meranti weekends. Those in the degree programme who take up the counselling skills electives also embark on a personal development journey conducted through six individual and six group counselling sessions. These initiatives have helped to prepare the student teachers adequately to support the academic and emotional development of their future students (Kit & Tang, 2017).
As a parent, teacher and counsellor educator myself, my hope is that someday, children like Gregory, will have the opportunity to seek help for their social-emotional issues from readily available sources with either their teachers or online counsellors. No child should have to navigate the seas of emotional distress alone. It is our responsibility and role as adults in their lives to support and guide them through such difficult times, so that they can overcome their emotional baggage and thrive academically.
References
Chong, W. H., Lee, B. O., Tan, S. Y., Wong, S. S., & Yeo, L. S. (2013). School psychology and school-based child and family interventions in Singapore. School Psychology International, 34(2), 177-189.
Jennings, L., Goh, M., Skovholt, T. M., Hanson, M., & Banerjee-Stevens, D. (2003). Multiple factors in the development of the expert counsellor and therapist. Journal of Career Development, 30(1), 59-72.
Kit, P. L., & Tang, P. (2017). Strengthening support for children and youth in Singapore: a personal therapy approach to training paraprofessional counsellors. Asia Pacific Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 1-16. Doi: 10.1080/21507686.2017.1397035.
Kit, P.L., Teo, C.T., Tan, M., Park, Y. (2017). Singaporean Counsellors’ Online Counselling Experiences with Children: An Exploratory Qualitative Study. Journal of Asia Pacific Counselling. Doi: 10.18401.2017.7.2.3.
